WEBVTT

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Acid can I carry a back?

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No, no, thank you.

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Sorry.

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So sorry.

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Excuse me.

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Watson!

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Watson!

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Sorry.

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Watson, hurry up!

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Come on, the train's going.

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Excuse me.

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Excuse me.

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Was it close call, Holmes?

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Yes, it certainly was.

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If you hadn't lingered to pass the time of day with that bomb, eh, we'd have had ample time.

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How did you know that I...

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Your elbow, it's wet.

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Well, you've obviously been leaning on a bar somewhere.

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And if I know you, it wasn't a bar man.

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Was she pretty?

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Yes, she was a lovely young lady's man, in fact, came from Lancashire.

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Hasn't been in London very long.

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Blinko Watson.

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Sardines Dalton!

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I say, what a small world it is.

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Good old Blinko.

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Blinko Watson.

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What a small world it is.

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Best mile of the school ever had.

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Why so many.

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You're putting it on a bit here and there, aren't you?

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Oh, particularly there.

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Say, Holmes, do you know sardines?

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I do do, sardines.

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Did you say Holmes?

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Not Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

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Oh, I see you've been reading about him in the papers, Watson.

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Can't read anything else these days except about that last case of yours, Mr. Holmes.

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Yes, well, that presented a bit of a problem at first, but we managed to nail it before the finishing line, didn't we, Holmes?

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Oh, we did, Blinko.

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You know, I wouldn't be at all surprised if you were going fishing.

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Yes, we're going to Witchenham, no?

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Why, of course. I'm living at our old family place, Forthingham. That's near Witchenham.

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Oh, I say.

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Something wrong, I mean?

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Oh, no, no, no, nothing really. I don't want to bother Mr. Holmes with my troubles.

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Hmm, what sort of trouble, Mr. Taunton?

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Well, yes, it's my mummy.

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Oh, old lady Taunton.

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No, no, no, no, my Egyptian mummy.

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Is your father married again?

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Oh, no, no, no, don't be silly, Blinko.

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One of those Egyptian fellows who were mummified thousands of years ago.

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That sort of mummy.

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Oh, you have that sort of a mummy?

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Yes, yes. My uncle Joseph sent it to me from Egypt.

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He's an archaeologist, you know.

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Well, it seems an odd thing to have sent you, eh?

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Last year he sent me a crate of sand.

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Sand?

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Yes, from the Sahara. It's a desert, you know.

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Just sand?

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Yes, that's all. Just sand.

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Arrive one morning, like the mummy case.

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Mummy case?

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Yes, a chap called Amonetep.

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Oh.

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Amonetep. Priest of the 14th dynasty or something. Anyway, that's what Professor Van Tonkin said.

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Professor Van Tonkin?

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Yes, he's a colleague of my uncle's. Lives quite nearby.

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He couldn't fathom what was wrong with the mummy either.

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Precisely what is wrong with your mummy, Mr. Taunton?

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It laughs.

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I beg your pardon?

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It laughs.

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Laughs?

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Quite.

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How does it laugh?

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Well, now, we go something like this.

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Ha ha ha ha ha.

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No, not really like that. It's much eerier than that.

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More like this.

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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

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Say, when does it laugh?

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Oh, practically any time.

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Well, have you seen it laugh?

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Me?

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Oh, good heavens no.

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Why don't you give it away?

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I can't. Nobody wants it.

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I say, Blinko.

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Oh, no, no. I'm awfully sorry. Oh, no, we...

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No, no, we couldn't.

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Well, look, why don't you burn it or chuck it in the river or something?

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Oh, well, now, I know this sounds silly, but there's an inscription on it.

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Something like, um,

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Who destroys my sleep, destroys himself.

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Professor Van Tonkin's translated it for me.

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You don't believe all that rubbish, do you?

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I mean, Egyptian capers and all that?

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Well, no, I don't actually believe the curse, Blinko,

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but, uh, well, I've got to do something.

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Well, I'm engaged to Rowena Featherstone.

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Do you know her?

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No.

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Oh, she's a lovely girl.

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She's got an aunt, Regiro Batlax.

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Well, she keeps after Rowena to break off the engagement.

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Says the chap who keeps an Egyptian mummy who laughs.

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Well, he can't be very reliable.

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Yeah, well, I understand that.

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Oh, I say.

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Would you like to come over to my place and see if you can stop him laughing?

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Oh, now, look, old boy, we were going fishing, you know, and...

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Oh, it might prove interesting, Watson.

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A mummy that laughs.

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Uh, this is, uh, Amon Atep.

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He doesn't look as if he had much to laugh about.

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I wouldn't think so, would you?

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You wait till you hear him, Blinko.

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Frightening, positively frightening.

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14th Dynasty, I see.

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Yes, an exceptionally fine sarcophagus.

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I must say the funerary carvings of the 14th Dynasty were the most beautiful ever known.

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Ah, yes, Amon Atep.

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He was a priest warrior.

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And here's the curse.

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Yes, who destroys my sleep, destroys himself.

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Makes you think, boy.

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Oh!

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This thing's full of splinters. I'm always pricking myself on it.

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Hmm, when did the mummy start laughing, Reggie?

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As soon as you received it six months ago.

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No, no, no, rather not.

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First, it was very well behaved.

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Quiet as a lamb. Then you started it about a month ago.

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I see.

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I take it these are the other Egyptian trophies your uncle sent you.

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Yes, rather. I stick them all in this room here.

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I call it my Egyptian room.

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You know, I wouldn't like Uncle Joseph to come back and think I didn't appreciate the gifts he sent me.

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He'll be touchy about the things they dig up, these archaeological fellows.

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Yes, yes, quite naturally.

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Has your uncle been in England recently?

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Oh, no, no, not since he went galloping off east as a young man.

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Must be at least 40 years, I think.

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Hmm, then you've never seen him.

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Oh, no, no.

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Oh, I say, that's the Sahara sand I was telling you about.

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Oh, yes, yes.

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Does your uncle never write to you?

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No, no, never.

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Just sends back the things he digs up.

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Hmm.

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Have you got a photo of him by any chance?

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Yes, yes, this one.

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He was taken when he was up at Oxford.

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I think he must have changed by now, you know, 40 years.

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Ravages of time and all that.

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Yes.

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Oh, I'm sorry, Reggie. I didn't know you had visitors.

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Oh, no, no. No, don't go, Louisa. I want you to meet my guests.

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This is Blinko, Dr. Watson, and Mr. Holmes, Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

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This is my fiancée, Miss Featheringston.

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Mr. Sherlock Holmes, the detective?

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Yes.

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Yes, he's come to look into this mummy business for us.

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Have you found anything, Mr. Holmes? Why does it laugh?

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Well, perhaps he tickled himself to death.

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I keep pleading with Reggie to get rid of it, destroy it, anything.

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But he's afraid of the curse.

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Well, I'm the one the curse is going to work on, and you know what they are.

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Really, Reggie, this is the 19th century.

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And Aunt Agatha wants to know when we're going to eat. She's famished.

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Woman's always famished.

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She's Reggie. She is my aunt.

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Well, I suppose I shall have to cook dinner myself.

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Cooked last night. Fourth of the month.

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Say, Blinko, do you cook?

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Hmm? Well, I...

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Reggie, you didn't invite Dr. Watson here to cook. I'll cook.

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Well, maybe I'd better do it myself after all.

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We'll both cook. Come on.

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How many of us are there? Five?

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No, no, no, no, six. I've asked Professor Von Tolkins to dine.

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If you'd like a glass of sherry or a brandy or a sedge or something,

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you'll find it all in the cupboard over there.

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Charming girl.

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I say, Holmes, let's finish up this matter in short order, eh?

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I hear the fish round about here are absolutely snapping.

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Hmm. I wonder...

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You wonder what? Have you found something, Holmes?

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No, I wonder if Miss Featheringston can cook.

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A doctor, young man, you say?

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A veterinary, no doubt.

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Madam, I'm a graduate of the Royal College of Physicians.

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I specialize in human beings.

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And you detect, young man, I understand.

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Yes, madam, I detect.

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Work with the police?

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Well, on occasion.

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No wonder the crime rate's going up.

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Rowena, do we or do we not eat?

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In a moment, auntie. We're bringing the food in.

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Reggie told me you've recently come back from Egypt, Professor.

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Yes, Mr. Holmes, just a few months ago.

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I have retired from active participation in Egyptology.

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I see. I understand that you met Reggie's uncle while you were out there.

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Yes, Professor Taunton and I excavated for a long time together in the Valley of the Lower Nile.

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Is Professor Taunton still active?

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Yes, Joseph is engaged in important excavation at the present time.

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You must be very glad to see all your old friends and relations again, Professor, after all these years.

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I've been gone so long, Doctor, I no longer have friends.

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And I'm afraid even my family wouldn't recognize me.

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Well, here we are at last. Better late than never, I always say.

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Oh, please do help yourselves, everybody. Informality's the form.

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Local trout. We used an old recipe we found in a cookery book in the kitchen. Didn't we, Reggie?

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Yes, at least I think it was a cookery book.

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I read something about mixing nitrogen with hydrogen or something at the end of it.

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Oh, Lord. Where was this bring in?

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I haven't had a decent well-cooked fish like this in years.

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Rubber. Sheer, unchewable rubber.

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I think it's very edible.

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What do you think, Holmes?

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Not quite. Who knows? Her sauce might have improved it somehow.

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It's quite delicious, Miss Featheringstone.

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I believe you're accustomed to eating beetles and locusts, which I'm told are considered delicacies in your...

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Reggie, take the other end, would you?

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Careful, Miss. Careful.

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This time we heard it ourselves.

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Yes, Watson. This time we heard it ourselves.

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And now we return to the case of the laughing mummy.

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Of all the silly things I've been indignaled into by you, this is the silliest.

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What do you expect to find up here?

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Something I discovered earlier this evening, Blinker.

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Do not address me by that ridiculous name.

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All right.

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All right, old chap?

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I'm all right now. But if I kill myself, I shall hold you personally responsible.

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Good. We managed it somehow. I had my doubts on several occasions.

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We'll soon know now.

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Know what?

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Lest I'm mistaken, this is our laughing mummy.

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But this is only a weathervane, Holmes.

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Ah, yes. But one that laughs.

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Listen.

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Good heavens. It is laughing.

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It would appear to be so, wouldn't it? Especially with a mummy in the house.

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When the wind is in a certain direction, the weathervane acts as a whistle.

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And the resultant sound is funnelled down into the Egyptian room below.

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But that's marvellous, Holmes. How did you stumble onto it?

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Well, in dealing with the occult, Watson, it's best to remember the natural phenomena come first.

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Here, give me a hand with this, would you?

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Wonderful. That's wonderful.

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Now, be careful you come down, Holmes.

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Yes.

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Just be careful.

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Here, Watson, would you hang on to this, please?

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Watson, are you taking...

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Where have you been gone?

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Watson?

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Watson?

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Watson?

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Do you think they know what they're doing, Reggie, dashing out of the house like this?

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Maybe not, Blinko.

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Well, Mr. Holmes seems very capable.

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Oh, yes, yes. He's the reliable type.

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Doesn't say much, but when he does, it's to the point.

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Like me.

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So, Professor, is this the first mummy you've ever heard of that laughs?

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The very first, Miss Featheringstone, and I'm quite sure that...

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Dr. Watson, what's happened?

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I slid off the roof and landed in the rhododendrons.

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Not my rhododendrons, Blinko. I've entered them in the local flower show.

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You may now withdraw your entry.

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Reggie, how long has this weathervane been on the chimney?

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About a month.

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I see. And it was about a month ago that the mummies started laughing.

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Yes, yes, that's right, Mr. Holmes.

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It will now stop laughing.

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It was caused by the wind striking the weathervane, which then blew down the chimney...

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and caused a sound which resembled a laugh.

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Well, well, well. Good heavens above.

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Mr. Holmes, how terribly clever of you.

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And you found it out all by yourself?

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I too was on the roof, Miss Featheringstone.

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Oh, I know. I think you're both terribly clever.

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My compliments, Mr. Holmes.

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The simplicity of the explanation escaped us all.

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Though I knew, of course, there was an explanation.

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Well, now we can all go and finish dinner.

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We've got something else coming. I think lamb, isn't it, Rowena?

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I think so. Meat of some kind.

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Good. Oh, Reggie.

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Yes, Mr. Holmes.

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Who stuck this on the chimney?

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I did. It was lying about the place, so I stuck it up there to keep it out of the way.

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Oh, I see. Thank you.

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You know, I believe I'll miss him, Larson.

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Made him human somehow. Almost chummy.

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Chummy mummy.

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Oh, well. That's another mystery we've solved, eh, Holmes?

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Yes, Watson.

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In solving it, we've been confronted by a far deeper mystery.

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Eh? What do you mean?

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You may observe the sarcophagus is of the 14th dynasty.

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But the mummy itself is of a much later period.

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Well, perhaps they had an old box lying about where the Jack died.

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Yes, possibly. Possibly.

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But it would have to be lying about for a very long time.

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Good morning, everybody. Isn't it a lovely morning?

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Simply gorgeous.

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Good morning, Miss Featherston.

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Yes, it is indeed a lovely...

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You look very refreshing, Miss Featherston.

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Very refreshing.

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And I am. No mummy laughing any longer, thanks to you, Mr. Holmes.

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Well, well, well, I say. What early birds we all are.

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Morning, everybody.

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Morning.

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God's in this heaven and all's right with the world and all that sort of thing. You know what?

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There's no need in invoking the name of the deity.

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I wasn't. I was quoting a bit of poetry or something. Shakespeare, I think it is.

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Tennyson, darling.

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Oh, is it?

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Actually, Miss Featherston, I think, if I'm not mistaken, it's a quotation from Robert Browning.

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Er, Ben Ezra.

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Pepper Parses, Watson.

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Oh, yes, of course. Pepper Parses. I knew it was something like that.

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Good morning.

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Oh, good morning, Professor.

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Good morning. Have a cup of tea or a bacon and egg or kipper or something here, sir?

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No, thank you. I just wanted to return this book.

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Oh, I say, it's awfully decent of you. Thank you.

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Oh, Professor von Torgens.

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Yes, Mr. Holmes?

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Reggie has a 14th Dynasty vase in the Egyptian room, which rather puzzles me.

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I wonder if I could impose upon you to clarify a point for me.

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It would be my pleasure, Mr. Holmes. Should we see it now?

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If it wouldn't be too much trouble, Professor.

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Not at all.

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Oh, thank you.

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Yes, the composition of the pottery struck me as being rather later than the 14th Dynasty, Professor.

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This is the vase I referred to.

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Considerably later, Mr. Holmes. The 18th Dynasty, in fact.

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Mm. I rather thought Reggie was mistaken.

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Yes, he was also mistaken about the mummy.

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The mummy? I'm afraid I don't understand.

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Don't you? I believe it was you who told Reggie that Amun-Otep was of the 14th Dynasty.

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It was, Mr. Holmes.

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But of course, this mummy, like the vase, is of a considerably later period.

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Really?

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How much later would you estimate, Mr. Holmes?

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Well, I'd say, uh, 4,000 years later.

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How did you determine that, Mr. Holmes?

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Well, the sarcophagus is obviously authentic.

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But the burial wrappings of the mummy itself are of a comparatively modern Egyptian weave.

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Expertly aged, I admit.

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I'd hope the discrepancy wouldn't be noticed.

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Well, if it hadn't been for the coincidence of the weather vane, I should never have bothered to look at the mummy so closely.

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What do you propose to do, Mr. Holmes?

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I'm afraid, Professor, I have no alternative.

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Holmes, what are you talking about?

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Professor von Tolkien's, as I regret to say, Watson, involved with murder.

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Murder? Who was murdered?

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Joseph Taunton. Reggie's Uncle Joseph.

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But how do you know? Where's the body?

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You are gazing, Watson, at the mummified remains of Taunton.

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Oh, no. No, no, really.

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You're right, Mr. Holmes.

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This is Joseph Taunton.

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And if I killed him...

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What do you mean, if you killed him?

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I don't know.

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That sounds strange, doesn't it?

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Joseph Taunton and I were friends.

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We devoted our lives to excavating the glories of Egypt.

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And last year, we discovered the tomb of Amenhotep.

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An untouched tomb, Mr. Holmes.

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Over 4,000 years.

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Joseph and I, we are the first human beings to set foot in it since the day it was sealed.

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Can you imagine what that meant to us?

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Yes, I can understand that.

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Joseph was beside himself.

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He wanted to open the mummy case immediately.

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But it was wrong, Mr. Holmes.

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The case had to be opened carefully, delicately.

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We quarreled. I tried to restrain Joseph physically, but he broke loose from me.

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He ran to the case and opened it, and then...

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And then, Professor?

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And then he staggered and dropped dead.

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As he opened the sarcophagus?

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Yes.

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There were no witnesses to what had happened, Mr. Holmes.

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But in our struggle, Joseph had suffered bruises.

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I knew what the police would believe.

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And so you removed the mummy of Amenhotep...

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and substituted the body of Joseph Taunton instead?

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It was the only way I could get the body out of the tomb.

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Mr. Holmes, I didn't mean to kill Joseph.

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It was his heart. He always had a weak heart.

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You say he staggered, Professor.

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But what did he do as he staggered?

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He grasped his throat as if he were choking.

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Watson, would you oblige me by removing the cover of the sarcophagus?

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Yes, of course.

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Ouch! That's splinter.

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Yes, Watson, ouch. As Reggie said.

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And as undoubtedly Uncle Joseph said, too.

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Professor, would you care to take a closer look at what Reggie called a splinter?

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What? It's a...

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It's a hollow needle that would pierce the skin of anyone who touched it.

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But I don't understand.

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The curse of Amenhotep and a hollow needle that contained the venom of an asp.

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The same snake poison that killed Cleopatra...

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and that killed your friend, Joseph Taunton.

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The most marked symptom of asp poisoning is suffocation.

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The victim instinctively clutches his throat.

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Then it wasn't a fight.

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No. And traces of the poison may still be found in the body, even after mummification.

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I say, Holmes, you don't think there's any of that poison left in the needle, do you?

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Because, well, if so...

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The next few minutes will determine that, Watson.

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What?

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Well, how's old Ammonotep doing?

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I bet he's feeling down in the mouth now he's stopped laughing.

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You'll be glad to learn, Reggie, that the professor has offered to take the mummy off your hands.

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Oh, I say, that's awfully decent of you, Professor.

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What are you going to do with him?

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He's also considered giving it a fitting burial.

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Oh, of course. Now, why didn't I think of that?

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Do you realize what this means, Rowena?

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Now we can be married. That old...

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I mean, your aunt, well, she won't have a leg to stand on.

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But, darling, Aunt Agatha really likes you.

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She just pretends to think you're not very bright.

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Really? She likes me?

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I think so.

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Well, then. Well, then. Let's go and tell her the good news.

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Thank you, Mr. Holmes.

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Not at all, Professor.

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Holmes. Holmes!

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What? What's the matter? Why? Are you looking ill?

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It's the poison. I can't breathe.

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No, no, no. Relax, Watson. Relax.

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If there had been any poison left in that needle, Reggie would long since have joined his ancestors.

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Unfortunately, the curse only worked once.

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Oh. Ridiculous.

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Oh, but Holmes.

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Don't worry about it. I still can't get my breath.

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Not again. It's probably the food we've been subjected to.

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Yes. I myself would prefer some of that fish that you insist on pursuing

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up and down the waterways of England with such wild abandon.

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Yes, of course. Cursed.

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What a nonsense.

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